


A Heavy Heart That Grieves But Also Hopes

by AllesandraQ



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Family, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, POV Multiple, background iron bull/male trevelyan relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-10 16:36:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11695629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllesandraQ/pseuds/AllesandraQ
Summary: The Inquisitor and his family reunite after the events that took place in Adamant/The Fade. While waiting for his family, Ares Trevelyan grieves for a lost family member, and for a father that refuses him. A friend finds a way to help, in his own way.(this fic is a response to a prompt on the dragon age subreddit's weekly writing prompt threads.





	A Heavy Heart That Grieves But Also Hopes

**Author's Note:**

> So Summary About My Main Inquisitor:
> 
> Human Noble, Mage, named Ares Trevelyan. Young. 20 years old, became Inquisitor on his 21st birthday.  
> In his backstory, Ares had been escorted to the conclave by his older brother, a templar. His brother died in the explosion, but Ares's memories were fractured, and gone in regards to that event, and he couldn't remember Mars and a few other things here and there. When he regains his memories in the Fade, following the battle with the Wardens, he regains ALL HIS MEMORIES, and is forcibly shaken by the memory of his older brother's death. 
> 
> I headcanon'd that after the events of Adamant, in order to recover properly from everything, Ares had pretty much sequestered himself in his quarters, occasionally leaving to go over mission reports and war table information. He rarely saw anyone for a few weeks, except for Iron Bull, and the events that take place below help him recover. 
> 
> So this has multiple povs, and one part in is in Dorian's... I tried my best with his voice, and I hope I lived up to the awesomeness that is Dorian, it's as nerve-wracking writing in his pov as it is Morrigan's.

  
  
A Week After The Events Of Adamant- Hercinia In The Free Marches  
Second Home To The Trevelyan Family  
Current Home To Lord Trevelyan

The battle that was taking place between her parents was interesting to watch. Just like every other battle in the past, it was primarily about will and determination, ignorance and spite, stubbornness on both sides and just plain pettiness on another.  
  
The carriage was waiting. Her men were waiting to escort them all. Her brothers and sisters were anxious to get to Skyhold, as was she, and here they were, being forced to wait by their petty and spiteful father.  
  
Tyche watched, not needing to hear the words that were being said between Mother and Father. It was a pity that Atlas Trevelyan was being so stubborn. Mother was being stubborn as well, but she was being stubborn in the fact that she was right. The battle ,the will between both of them is strong and neither will win.  
  
"Your son is dead and you remain being a petulant child," she yells out and Tyche's heart clenches at the mention. "You are doing yourself no favors, Atlas. Among your own family they see you as being spiteful and ignorant. Your own son is the Herald Of Andraste and the Inquisitor--"

"No son of mine is a mage!" Atlas yells from his spot in his chair. "That does not come from me, it came from you," he adds sneering. "I thank the Maker that only one was cursed with that affliction. He is your son, but not mine! Andraste would not choose such a person to be her Herald!"   
  
"Then continue to pay for your ignorance," she snarls, before leaving the room. As she does, Tyche instantly backs away from the from entrance and a few moments later her mother, Rhea Trevelyan comes out, raising the hood on her cloak, and no longer looking angry, but serene.  
  
"Your father is not coming," she says, her words steady but Tyche can hear the sadness in them. Mother will always be sad about this, but she will not bend to Father's own blind willfulness. "According to the letter, Skyhold is about two weeks worth of travel for us. We will be met by Inquisition people in the next town and they will be our escorts."

Tyche nods and a door to one of the carriages open, and her brother Mercury helps their mother into it. She shuts it, nods to one of her men, and heads over to her own carriage.  
  
"Father being an idiot?" Artemis asks, sounding bored.

"What else is new?" Tyche says as she settles into her seat. "Where is Pax?"

"In the carriage behind us," Venus says. "Decided to move to that one while you were waiting on Mother."  
  
"Ah." Tyche grimaces as there's a slight bump as the carriages start forward.

"I appreciate getting your men to help with the escort," Venus says with a certain gleam in her eye as she watches one of them ride on his horse next to them.  
  
"I am their boss. Pays to listen to the one that well, makes sure they get paid."

"Why has Father refused to acknowledge Ares?" Venus asks quietly. "It's not right. He's our brother."

"He's a mage," Artemis speaks up then, her voice still flat as ever. She sounds bored recounting family history, although Tyche does not blame her in the slightest. "The _other_ Trevelyan lines may have had a mage or two but Father insists his line does not, so he blames Mother because her line had a mage. Although you would think he would be a bit smarter right now with his public denials- The Chantry is no longer as divided as they used to be, now they've gotten used to him and of course the Inquisition's influence spreading has helped. Opinion on him being Andraste's Herald and of course being Inquisitor is stronger than ever... He's stubborn pride will alienate everyone, even the Clerics at some point."

"It'll be a well deserved lesson," Tyche says shortly. She and Ares were the only two out of the bunch that had been verbally disowned by their father- Ares for being a mage, her for running off and becoming a mercenary and eventually forming her own mercenary company. However he's never been able to do more than that so it's just posturing.  
  
"I can't wait to see him," Venus almost bounces in her seat, her blonde curls doing just that. "Last time I saw him was ages ago... Mother said it was far too risky to visit in the circle after the rebellions started happening..."

"Harvestmere, 9:38," Artemis intones in her flat voice.  
  
It has been a long time indeed. A reunion coming.  
  
Unfortunately it is coming in the form of a funeral. For one of their own has been finally confirmed dead.  
  
"Can you learn to speak with some sort of emotion?" Venus asks irritably.  
  
Artemis stays silent for a moment, and then looks straight at their younger sister. "No."

**Skyhold- A Few Days Later- Late Night**

  
  
  
As usual, Ares couldn't sleep. Even with a good reason laying in his bed. Currently he was in the middle of his floor, surrounded by books and reports. And a letter was in his hand, a letter that gave him hope but also added to his grief.   
  
Adamant was chaos, The Fade even more so. He had remained steady, kept himself from falling apart when they emerged back into the world and he banished the rest of the demons, then took the Wardens in.

He remained as composed as he could until they got to Skyhold. Then he locked himself away in his quarters.  
  
He has had to come to terms with many things, not all of them easy. And until his mind is at ease he is not good around other people right now. He's barely decent company for Iron Bull right now, but the best thing about the man is that he knows it and doesn't push anything on him except to be by his side.  
  
He was not chosen by Andraste. He never believed he was, flat out said it many times. But to have it confirmed... the repercussions of that will soon spread out (How could it not? How could people still believe?)m and he was terrified on what that would do to the Inquisition, on how the people would see him now and would they still stay to fight against the threat that is Corypheus now that they know he wasn't chosen. So many joined because they believed he was, even though he claimed all the time he wasn't.   
  
And that wasn't the only things bothering him, worrying him to the bone and making him seclude himself.  The nightmares that were brought on by the Nightmare's words, seeing his fears in front of him and written on a gravestone...Hearing his past be whispered in his ears...

But what was hurting him the most right now... was finally being able to remember everything and one person in detail. 

  
A brother. A brother that was with him at the Conclave and died trying to protect him. Once that memory was reclaimed, it took everything he had to not break down in grief, as they were not in a safe place to do so. Then there was getting the Orlesian Wardens under the Inquisitions protection and coming back to Skyhold.   
  
It was finally a relief when they came back. He shut himself in his quarters and let loose his grief. Dealing with a combination of so many things  was making him dive into Inquisition reports and books of all sorts. He may not be leaving his quarters but he was still doing what he could to run the Inquisition.  
  
Ever since the Conclave explosion, his memories had been fractured, scattered, not quite whole. He remembered some of his family, and with the help of Leliana and Josephine initiated contact and letters. But other things were frustratingly vague, words rattled around in his head that weren't his but belonged to _someone,_ shadowy impressions of people. A good majority  of his memories, especially of his time in the Circle, were clear as day, but the rest were just muddied, blurry, out of reach.  
  
Now they were back in full force. And his worries, regret, his grief and mourning and everything had driven him to his quarters and accepting only the occasional visitor. And then there was the letter, stating that his family would be here in little over a week to have a proper reunion and a funeral for Mars, his brother.  So that they can all grieve together.  
  
Ares had some of his hope dashed however, when the letter stated who wasn't coming, but he tried to keep that hope from fading. His mother and siblings were coming. He would be seeing them again.  


**On A Boat**  


  
Tyche and her brother Pax sympathetically pat the backs of their two siblings, Mercury and Helios, as they get sick over the railing of the boat. The carriages and horses have been stowed since they got on the boat that would cross the sea a couple days ago.  
  
Their Inquisition escorts remain off to the side, as always, but will offer help if need be, as had been the case since their journey started.  
  
"I hate sea travel," Mercury moans.  
  
Helios groans as well.  
  
"Poor boys," she rubs Mercury's back.

"Did we really have to go this way?" Mercury rasps. "We could have gone around..."

"That would have taken a lot longer to get to Skyhold," Pax points out. "If this was any other type of trip we might have considered it, but Mother did not want to wait that long."

No one really wanted to wait that long. Once they got the official news.. Tyche once more felt so much regret at not escorting her brothers to the Conclave. She had helped them get to safety when the rebellions happened, but her and her men had been occupied by other matters when the Conclave came calling.  
  
Then again, if she had gone, she might have died herself.  
  
"It won't be for much longer," One of the Inquisition agents said with a hopeful tone. "The last time we crossed this river, it only took four days. So we only have a day and a half left."  
  
"Not helping," she hears Helios finally say something.  
  
The agent winces. "Apologies. The Inquisitor doesn't seem to mind sea travel though."

Tyche raises an eyebrow. "Really?"

The agent nods, her head cover not moving at all. "He accompanied us on plenty of missions that have taken place across the sea. He likes to do that, to see what we do and see what happens. He likes to know things."

"That sounds like him," Tyche agrees to that assessment.

"The Herald likes to be involved," the other agent says, with what sounds like awe.

"Care to share some stories?" Tyche asks curiously. "I'm sure it would help these two sickly ones pass the time."

  
  
  
  
  
****2 Weeks Later- Skyhold****

  
Dorian didn't know what to do.

He didn't like that.  
  
The ambassador told him that the Inquisitor needed to be ready for the arrival of his family. They were coming to have a proper funeral and goodbye for the son they lost, the brother that Ares is currently mourning. She apparently told him because she couldn't find him. Nor could Iron Bull give her any answers.  
  
So Dorian, who was usually the other person that the Inquisitor was seen with a lot, was given the task of Inquisitor Hunting. It's something that plenty of others have done.  He tried his quarters- Ares had sequestered himself there when they returned from Adamant and in the past few weeks had barely left, only once so far to arrange things with Josephine and to send letters to his family and on occasion was spotted in the war room. Iron Bull was seen going into his quarters but no one else was welcomed at this time. But alas, he was not there. He was not in the usual places he could be found- Cullen's office, War Room, or the library that was found near the kitchen and the vault.   
  
However, he did find him.. in the spot he usually placed himself. Dorian's little alcove that he unofficially claimed. The right sunlight, the comfortable chair, the books.  
  
Well Ares liked books too. Apparently the Inquisitor was quite the book worm.  
  
Right now Ares was in his chair, but it was moved, facing the window, and he had a book in his lap but he wasn't reading.  
  
The look on his face...

Dorian felt uncomfortable. Emotions. Tricky things. And here he was, being forced to deal with them.  
  
"Your family--"

"I know," he says from his spot, hands curled around the book, looking... sad. Dorian shifted on his feet. "I took your seat, I'm sorry."

Dorian waves that away. "Josephine is looking for you."

"I'm not surprised..." He doesn't look like he's moving though. "He's not coming."

Dorian frowns. "Who?"

"My father." The words are said in a whisper and for once Ares, the Inquisitor, his friend.. well he looks as young as he is. Dorian forgot that his new friend, (Something he was still getting used to) was young, only twenty one now. Apparently he had been made Inquisitor on said birthday. (That reminds him to get the young man a birthday present.) The red hair and the purple eyes, the freckles, sometimes was deceiving, made him look older.

"Is that.." Dorian clears his throat. "Why? He has a son to mourn does he not?"

"He refuses because of me. He disowned me when my magic manifested, only verbally however as the rest of the family wouldn't let him do more than that. I was six."  
  
Oh this was a quagmire of emotions and problems that Dorian is definitely not prepared for.

"He wasn't happy when Mars took me to safety during the war. He stopped by once at the safe house, said it would have been better if he had let me join the rebel mages and be done with it." Ares sighs, then snorts. "As if they would have had me," he mutters.  
  
Dorian moves a little closer, and ends up sitting on the stool. It's comfortable, not as much as the chair. "Why would they not?"

An almost desperate look appears in the young mage's eyes. Like he looks trapped almost. Dorian immediately regrets that question. Quagmire. Definite quagmire. "Never mind the question, but as a friend, while I am indeed new to this sort of thing-- not many friends remember? Well as a friend you can tell me anything, just keep that in mind."

The desperate trapped look edges away, relief appears. "I'll tell a little later," Ares says, looking down at the book.  
  
"What book is that?"

"Leliana found it for me. It's not much, but it's a rough translation of a language. Qunlat."

Dorian can guess why his friend had gotten that. "I'll get you one better. I know a few phrases myself, so I can teach them to you. But- anyway--"

"I got the letter yesterday. A rider was urged to ride up ahead. Father refuses to come. And I am the reason." Ares shakes his head. "I think.. I think my Father is why I tried to help.. with you..."

"I see." Dorian still feels a little raw about that. Ares had encouraged him to not leave angry, to talk to his father. After forgetting about the letter and the meeting itself. Not something his friend is known for, but he had been distracted.  
  
"He wanted to try.. to at least try to fix things... and yet my father.." Ares makes a frustrated sound.  
  
Dorian understands a bit better now. "Complicated, the subject of Fathers."  
  
Ares nods. "I couldn't remember him, Dorian."

Dorian's not sure what direction this conversation is going now. He doesn't think it's about the father now. "Ah--"

"Mars," his words are almost a whisper now. Dorian can hear the aching sadness, the regret. "He was with me, he came with me, he tried to push me out of the way to grab the orb-"

The older blonde man that Dorian got to see in those memories that Ares had reclaimed while they were in the Fade. "You and your brother were close?"

Ares nods, his purple eyes glistening and Dorian did his best to try to ignore the tears and just listen to the words. He could do this. He is doing this. He was very uncomfortable doing this, but in the end he was doing this. He wondered however, how much he has told Iron Bull- they are lovers after all.

"He was a templar, stationed in the same Circle I was in. He was there when my magic manifested. I was six, he was older- nineteen. My family was able to arrange it for him to stay there. He protected me as best as he could, protected me during the rebellion, got me to safety, stayed with me, escorted me to the Conclave..." the words just seemed to rush out. "And he died trying to protect me and I couldn't remember!"  
  
_Oh, my young friend..._  
  
"But, you remember now?" Dorian asks gently.  
  
"Yes."

"Then hold onto those memories, and don't let them go," he says. "Don't get upset about losing them, it happened, and you got them back. And now you get a chance to properly remember him and mourn him, with your family."  
  
It's interesting, being the council here. Ares had always shown himself to be strong, a little unsure at times, Dorian's noticed, but strong. That strength and determination to help and save others showed up fiercely when Haven was attacked, when he defended Dorian to Mother Giselle. But he has witnessed some of that uncertainty before. Mainly during the judgement of the prisoners. Or when he doesn't seem to understand the actions of another It shows his age, how sheltered he was in the past,  he think. Normally  he sees a man, a mage, that wants to help everyone it seems and doesn't seem to buckle under the responsibility.  
  
To see him so differently is good, Dorian thinks. Others have him on a pedestal at times, and being reminded that Ares is just a young man who is doing his best to be a leader is a good thing. Like Cullen, Josephine and Leliana, in a way Dorian feels like he's being a confidant and adviser here as well. Although he must say he didn't expect it to be so... emotional.  
  
Yes, still _uncomfortable._

It seems to take a few minutes, and a few more words, but Ares stands, closing the book. He tries to move the chair back, but Dorian won't let him. He'll do it later. As they get ready to leave this little alcove, one of Leliana's spies comes racing up the steps.

"Three carriages just pulled up!" She squeaks out as she hurries past them to head up another flight of stairs.  
  
"That would be them."  
  
"Three?" Dorian questions.  
  
"I have ten other siblings," Ares smirks as Dorian feels himself pale at the thought. "Well if Mars had lived that would be eleven. Eleven children.. .well twelve."  _Twelve_. **Oh dear Maker**. "I was the youngest thankfully so I only had to deal with a few of them, for a few years."

"Your poor mother."

Ares laughs. "Oh, I think you'll change your mind on that once you meet her."

Dorian raises an eyebrow, watching with fascination as the young man earlier upset seems to fade away and is now replaced by the man everyone sees as the Inquisitor. "I'll be meeting her?"

Here, an uncertain look appears. "Would you like to join us?"

"It's a family affair, Inquisitor--"  
  
"Don't be so formal," Ares frowns. "You're a friend, and one I've written about in many letters, as much as Iron Bull actually."

"He won't be there?"

Are shakes his head. "He's not here. He said he was going to keep his distance, go out with the Charges on a mission. Something about not needing to add to the stress."

Dorian figured for a family that was supposed to be as devout as the Trevelyans, finding out their son had a Qunari lover (even if he was Tal Vashoth now) had to have been stressful and meeting him during a funeral wouldn't help much.  
  
"But I would like it if you came, you are a friend, something I have never had in the past until now."

Dorian will be questioning that line later. "All right."  


**Entering Skyhold**  
  
  
  
  
  
Rhea Trevelyan smiles at the young man who helps her out of the carriage, joining her children and she looks around the courtyard. It's open and filled with people. A large staircase, that leads inside is some feet away.  
  
"Lady Trevelyan?" An Antivan accent greets her. She turns to see a woman who's wearing what at first appears to be a gold dress but it's not quite a dress either, dark skin, and gorgeous eyes that seem to be a mix between grey and brown.  
  
"You must be Lady Montilyet," she greets happily. "I've heard plenty about you." And others...  
  
"I am. The Inquisitor should be coming down to greet you shortly, he has been.. a little indisposed the past the few days--"

She gathers that means Ares has been closed off since he had the revelations he had, and what she heard among the gossips. Her heart aches for her youngest. It should not be like this that they see each othe for the first time in a such a long time.  
  
The ambassador greets the rest of her children, and she hears Tyche give a few orders to her mercenaries.  
  
"We have your rooms set up and your luggage will be taken up to them," Lady Montilyet assures them all she leads then through the courtyard and up the stairs. "And Mother Giselle has offered to lead the service for you, it will be held in the Garden. It has been set up for this."  
  
"This is very good of you," she says softly. The chatter among her children grows a little, some grumbling from the eldest of course, but they are prone to that.

"It is an honor to do so, I am sorry that we have to meet you all this way. The Inquisitor has always spoken so highly of all of you--"

"All of us?" She hears Tyche comment.  
  
The ambassador does not stumble, which is a credit. "Yes."  
  


**Great Hall Entrance**  
  


  
Ares takes a deep breath as he stands in the entrance, watching as his family being greeted by Josephine.  
  
"I'm not used to seeing such a large family."

He tears his eyes away from his mother to look over at Dorian. "Oh? Tevinter doesn't have large families?"

"In the past yes, but now? Oh dear, the fights that would happen if there were more than two children. There are some families yes that are a bit large, but I think that requires a married couple to actually enjoy one's presence," Dorian drawls. "To be able to put up with each other to create more than one child."  
  
"I see."

"Your family is heavily into the Chantry, devout yes?"

Ares nods. "Yes. I think Tyche isn't as devout as the rest though, same with me. But they never turned their back on me being a mage..." Only one did.  
  
"This is going to be interesting," Dorian says in almost like a whisper as Ares's attention snaps back to his family as they get closer, coming up the stairs. He can hear Josephine talking now, saying he had been speaking highly of them, and then hears his sister speak up.

 

**  
**********************

  
  
"That includes you Tyche," a teasing, soft voice says then, interrupting whatever comes next and Rhea's heart skips a beat as she looks past the ambassador to see her son, standing in the entrance of what looks like a great hall. There is another man next to him. Human, not Qunari so this is not Iron Bull. He's a mage though.. perhaps it is the friend, Dorian?  
  
His red hair, which used to be kept short, is now to his shoulders. His skin a little tanned,not as pale in the past, his freckles far more noticeable. His purple eyes bright, and he's wearing dark clothes and what looks to be a slightly heavy coat, and despite some darkness under his eyes, he looks healthy.  
  
This is her son, her youngest who she was only able to see two times a year, her baby that had to flee. Yet here he stands before her, not looking at all like a young man who's barely in his twenties. He looks.. well she's not sure how to describe it, but he looks _different_ than what she expected.  
  
As she's taking him in, she hears a crackle of something. It reminds her of hearing a spell go off, and a glow catches in the corner of her vision. Forcing herself to look away from her son's face, she looks down.  
  
On his left hand, there it is. It's glowing, a beautiful green color. It seems to encase his hand. She hears Tyche inhale, hears her other children make a variety of sounds, and what sounds like a whispered conversation between her two eldest.  
  
**The mark.**

The mark that has made him the Herald of Andraste.  
  
She doesn't know what to do now.  
  
But apparently Tyche does.  
  
Her brash daughter pushes past her and rushes toward him, and in seconds she has him in a hug and he lets out of a sound of what seems like surprise,  
  
"It's good to see you too Tyche." Her son's normally soft voice is still that, soft, but.. there's an edge to it as well.

"You've kept us worried for ages," she growls out, letting go of him, and Rhea wishes she wouldn't do that. "Only news we kept hearing was the occcasional letter that neve told us ANYTHING, and some gossip. Now really is that any way to treat your favorite sister?" She lightly punches Ares on the shoulder,and he laughs at that, pulling her in for another hug

"Hey!" Rhea hears Venus exclaim.  
  
"She is," Rhea hears Artemis mutter.  
  
"They're all blonde, Ares," the man next to him exclaims, "except you and this one. Are you sure you're related to them?"

She hears a snort of laughter that's quickly cut off behind her.  
  
"The red hair is most likely due to the fact I have a couple siblings with it," she says, finding her voice as she takes the steps to clear the distance.  
  
Tyche steps away from Ares, and she catches her looking at who must be Dorian, who only reacts by arching an eyebrow. She looks away to meet her youngest son's gaze.  
  
"Not the reunion you were expecting I imagine," he says, his tone light. His eyes... his eyes are not quite the same. The same color... but there's a change to them. He looks the same.. but life has changed him, the mark has changed him she thinks, and so has his new role.  
  
"Maybe not," she whispers. "But it is one I yearned for."  
  
He smiles, and she thinks she sees her young son, but her thoughts on how much he has changed are driven from her mind as he envelopes her in a hug.  
  
"I missed you," he whispers in her ear. "It is good to see you, Mother. Despite--"

"I know," she steps out of the hug after as few moments, and reaches up, hesitantly at first and brushes some of his hair back. He closes his eyes at her touch and her heart clenches.

"We will continue this later, after we get settled, and we will properly say goodbye to Mars and then we will all catch up." It hurts losing a son. A part of her deep down thought Mars was indeed lost as no word about him reached her ears although plenty about Ares did. She also knew that lack of his name in Ares past letters that something had happened, even if he could not remember it.  Now it is confirmed, and she sees the hurt that he's trying to hide so well at his name and however different, however much her son has seemed to change, he is still her little boy, and her hope for him has now changed into a different direction.  
  
The Maker has reunited her with her youngest son. Properly. Andraste has made this happen as well, marking her son. If anything, she was going to take this as a sign and embrace it.

 


End file.
